How to Get a Handle on Your Emotions
I wrote a post called Why Your Feelings Matter So Little (And So Much) that discusses the ideal position our emotions have in our spiritual life. With that foundation, I’d like to discuss some practical ways to help your feelings align with your belief. We’re all going to have innate responses to circumstances that go against good biblical teaching and interpretation. It may be feelings of lust, jealousy, greed, or even a desire for justice that disregards all other factors.
[bctt tweet="We can either disregard our emotions, let our emotions reign free, or reconcile what we feel with scripture." username="everetthill"]
That last way is the best, and the most difficult.
This is what the Bible says we can do to work our emotions out with scripture: "Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise]. To this peace indeed you were called as members in one body [of believers]. And be thankful [to God always]" (Colossians 3:15 AMP). This scripture does not decry emotions, but instead places them under a new viewpoint which is centered in God's peace. It doesn't tell us to get rid of our emotions, but to put them in the proper “Goldilocks” place they belong: Not too influential, but not overlooked.
Let’s Get Practical with Emotions
What are some of the ways you can “let the peace of Christ” do these wonderful things? The answer to the question is more complicated than it may appear. After all, relinquishing your control over any given situation can feel impossible.
Satisfying your emotions isn't the ultimate purpose of your life. On the other hand, you cannot overlook your feelings either since they are part of you and are an integral part of worship. They are so important yet so difficult to manage. Here are some ideas that I have come across for cultivating your feelings.
- Pray - Spending time with God as the center of your focus is the best way to adjust your perspective. Pray as you read through sections of the Bible like Psalm 42 where people are working through feeling burned out, frightened or angry: "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God" (Psalms 42:11 ESV).
- Read your Bible - I am often shocked by what I read in the Bible even though I’ve read through it cover to cover several times and done in-depth studies of various parts. This is because it is can be a profound and deep look at our own souls. If you take the time to further examine and internalize the Bible, you will find resolution or perspective for whatever emotional situation you encounter. If you stick with it, you will be able to say to God, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" (Psalms 119:105 ESV).
- Spend time in silence and solitude - This means taking some intentional time to just be with God without any distractions. Jesus is recorded to have done this several times in his ministry: "But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray" (Luke 5:16 ESV). This is where I have had times of greatest peace and contentment in God that spill over into the rest of my busy and complex life.
- Exercise - This has proven to be an excellent way to regulate your hormones and emotions. If you're having a difficult time making the time to exercise, try some high-intensity interval training (HIIT) since it takes only about 20 minutes. Hear what Paul has to say about exercise: "...for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come" (1 Timothy 4:8 ESV). Note that he didn't say "bodily training has no value." He simply declared that it was important, but not the most important thing. It certainly has a role in keeping my emotions stable.
- Laugh - Our brains desire a consistent dose of laughter (at least mine does). Take some time to find the lighter side of things and laugh with your spouse, friends, or family. "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones" (Proverbs 17:22 ESV).
- Confess your sins - Emotions can crush us when they revolve around sin. Give someone you trust a call and tell them about the secret sin you’ve been hiding in the dark. There are few things more emotionally freeing. "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed" (James 5:16 ESV).
- Remember you're not alone - Jesus experienced intense emotions, from righteous anger to intense grief: "He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief..." (Isaiah 53:3a ESV). Our God understands what we're going through and is not far off. Lean on him and rest in the fact that he is not heartless. Rather, he desires give us his "loving kindness and tender mercies" (Psalm 103:4 NKJV).